Last night, it all hit me again. The girls' visit was over. No motivation to do anything other than what I absolutely have to (my "job" responsibilities ... taking care of the kids). I'm no longer pregnant, and I should be feeling the baby kick by now.
This afternoon I visited my OB for my follow-up visit. He said that everything looks great and I can ease back into normal activities. No results from the testing yet -- maybe next week. He'll call when he gets any information. No future appointment necessary.
Unreal. Is this really me? A part of me wishes for more physical discomfort -- this whole foreign process has seemed way too easy physically. And emotionally, more than I would ever have imagined. Hang on, I'm on the emotional roller coaster they call grief.
i just reread the line at the top of your page about stopping and enjoying the moment. although this may not be a moment you enjoy have you just stopped. for me, work is always the best solution when i am blue..housework, cooking, cleaning things from the attic to cellar,playing,walking..but that's me and the ole' scottish heritage.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry, today, again, for the loss of your sweet one. I hope you never feel pressure to just be over it. I pray you learn how God wants this little one to be a part of your family. All of our children add to our growth and maturity. I know this sweet one will bless you in many wonderful ways, and I look forward to our real home where she waits for us all.
ReplyDeleteI really am so sorry -c. That makes me remember the books about heaven I had asked you about. One day you will never have to hurt again. We prayed again for your family this morning.
ReplyDeleteOh C.... I can say nothing but that I am praying for you. I am so sorry you are having to go through this pain. May Jesus continue to carry you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, ladies! I'm so grateful for your encouragement.
ReplyDeletesqueaky, my floors are swept and laundry is done. The days don't seem to be as bad as late at night.
graced-your words are so true.
michelle-God works amazingly, huh -- I need to finish Heaven by Alcorn.
virg-i love your new pic. you're so right -- He's carried me this far...thx.
well i'm glad you have these GOOD friends who encourage you...not like me-as i write to comiserate (sp?) in the realization of reality as well;) I MISS YOU AND MY BOYS! this week...following our AMAZING visit has been crap. Praise the Lord. LOVE YOU.em
ReplyDeleteok i guess i shouldn't use the "c" word. sorry friend.
ReplyDeletesome things are simply that. well-said. you are coming back this summer, right? no pressure, but the bottom bunk is open! :)
ReplyDelete