Post PARCC Intro

Welcome back to Computer class!

"It goes by so fast"

"It goes by so fast."

Parents of younger children have heard this line from their elders for years.

Although baffled by these words while in the season of a snail's pace (baby/preschool years), I relate and understand more of this sentiment in the world of "elementary school". As Eli begins Kindergarten in the fall and I anticipate all three boys in the same school all day, I recognize that time has moved quickly. The school years began for us in 2009, and they will likely end in 2027 when Eli dons a high school graduation cap and gown. We will spend 12 years at our PreK-8 school as a family. We are already at the quarter mark. Now is the time to find the pace that will sustain our family for the duration of the race. The families in this school community have already become lifelong friends. More come every year. How easy it is to meet other people in our neighborhood with common interests, concerns, and schedules.

*unfinished draft, published on 12/29/2023

Sharpened Perspective

The first of the year offers a natural space to reminisce with delight and grief at the moments over the span of a short time. Like a new page in a journal with a favorite ink-pen, a sharpened perspective emerges to forge forward. Without reflection on the past, how can one dream with anticipation and delight of what is to come? After all, it's mostly through our experiences of yesterdays that we view our tomorrows.

The significant moments of my spiritual journey in 2012 are marked profoundly by God. Thanks be to Him! He is the creator of all things new in me. It is difficult to describe the days of 2012. Words like painful, arduous, victorious, powerful come to mind easily as images of individual scenes flash through my memory.

One scene repeats itself again and again. It is me curled up on my recliner in the last hour of morning darkness with my spiral journal, a smooth pen, His Word, several books, a cup of coffee and the light of my lamp.  I am sitting still, reading, listening, crying, writing, dreaming, praying, loving, and changing. I find refuge in the midst of tears, struggle, and profound neediness.

Gentle grace.
Quiet admonition.
Faithful love.
Steadfast care.
Compassion beyond belief.
Hard, meaningful necessary growth.

As a daughter of God.
As a woman loving Jesus.
As a minister to others.
As the wife of Doug.
As the mom of three boys.
As me ... all of these in every moment.

Hurting hearts

I am not looking forward to today. Sitting with a young couple honoring the short life of their teeny tiny baby son born sleeping early and unexpectedly makes my heart and strength deplete. I know that God loves and is gracious beyond what I can recognize in the midst of life's deepest storms. This morning I needed a psalm and a song to meditate and sing inside as my heart hurts for these friends. He heals broken hearts. He strengthens the weak. I know it. I believe it. I long to feel You near today, Father. 





The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. ~Psalm 34:18


"But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge: I will tell of all your deeds." ~ Psalm 73:28

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ~ Matthew 11:28

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. ~ Psalm 62:8

I'm keeping my eyes on Him even though what's going on around me seems overwhelming at times. May I always be looking for strength, peace, and rest from Him (vertically), instead of making sense of our circumstances through what I can see around me (horizontally).

I believe, God, that you can do the impossible. I know that You have in the past and You will continue to demonstrate Your love and faithfulness in this fallen world for as long as it exists. My heart is open to You as completely as I know how. Change me. Transform me. Empty me of me so that You can do Your work in this world. Fill me. I am not scared of Your plan for me. I am yours.

Breaking the silence

First day of summer break.
Morning snuggles.
Whole grain waffles.
Godtime with boys.
Half-block walk.
Swing by church.
Playdate with friends.
Drive-thru lunch date.
Home-owners again.
Housewarming gift.
Laughter with a friend.
Chat with a sister.
Reading to the littlest.
Floor covered with toys.
Happy playing and resting.
Celebratory entertaining dinner.
Exterior paint samples.
Quiet. Rest.

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever. For what you have done I will always praise you in the presence of your faithful people. And I will hope in your name, for your name is good. ~ Psalm 52:8-9

Lest I forget ... this season, this stay

Everything fits ... just so.
Spacious kitchen and dishwasher.
Privacy spot for boys to slip out of swimsuits outside back doors.
Kind, generous grandparent-neighbors with a healthy stock of Wheatables.
Short walk to future home.
Quick access to freeway.
Beautiful large yard and breezy patio w/grill.
Front porch garden.

I will not miss ...
Play areas that double as traffic areas.
Calling kids to "be quiet" constantly while others are sleeping/attempting to.
The kitchen not adjacent to a bedroom.

*found as a draft on 12/29/2023