The first of the year offers a natural space to reminisce with delight and grief at the moments over the span of a short time. Like a new page in a journal with a favorite ink-pen, a sharpened perspective emerges to forge forward. Without reflection on the past, how can one dream with anticipation and delight of what is to come? After all, it's mostly through our experiences of yesterdays that we view our tomorrows.
The significant moments of my spiritual journey in 2012 are marked profoundly by God. Thanks be to Him! He is the creator of all things new in me. It is difficult to describe the days of 2012. Words like painful, arduous, victorious, powerful come to mind easily as images of individual scenes flash through my memory.
One scene repeats itself again and again. It is me curled up on my recliner in the last hour of morning darkness with my spiral journal, a smooth pen, His Word, several books, a cup of coffee and the light of my lamp. I am sitting still, reading, listening, crying, writing, dreaming, praying, loving, and changing. I find refuge in the midst of tears, struggle, and profound neediness.
Gentle grace.
Quiet admonition.
Faithful love.
Steadfast care.
Compassion beyond belief.
Hard, meaningful necessary growth.
As a daughter of God.
As a woman loving Jesus.
As a minister to others.
As the wife of Doug.
As the mom of three boys.
As me ... all of these in every moment.