Exactly my heart

The "loss of a baby" books I'd ordered a couple weeks ago are showing up in my mailbox nearly every day. I've been reading snippets here and there as I need encouragement. I couldn't have written the following chapter better myself. This excerpt is taken from In A Heartbeat: a journey of hope and healing for those who have lost a baby written by Dawn Siegrist Waltman. I know there's so many that have suffered loss similar to ours, so I thought it might encourage you as it did to me.

A Hole in My Heart
Incline Thine ear, O Lord, and answer me; For I am afflicted and needy ... To thee I cry all day along. -- Psalm 86:1,3 (NAS)
There is a hole in my heart--a hole that some days feels so huge it could actually engulf me. It's a hole that came from losing our daughter. It seems like when she died she took a part of my heart with her. In actuality, though, I gave her that part of me.
People around me know there's a hole in my heart. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I even chuckle to see how hard they try to fill it for me. Some of their attempts bless me, others irritate me [a little]. I know deep inside, though, they are doing it because they care about me.
I know I am going to be OK. I just need time. I need them to realize that pursing a hobby, volunteering for a special project, taking a vacation, or even having another child will NOT fill that hole. Nothing will. As time passes and I continue to grow in God's grace, my heart will grow as well. As I love and am loved, my heart will grow even more. And as my heart steadily grows, the hole will seem smaller and to some degree less painful. But the hole and the ache that accompanies it will never go away. Nor do I want it to. For in that hole a glorious new hope will take root and be found.

I recommend this book to those who are a support to those who have experienced our kind of loss, as well as to those who have had their own loss and seek to be understood. Its author is a mother who has suffered multiple baby losses. This book has brought comfort because I recognize I'm on a similar journey as many others, and I am not alone. I am not without hope because of my absolute faith in God's plan, yet it still hurts and that's okay.