Last week, Sam was registered for a VBS at the church where we go to MOPS. When I showed up to pick him up on Monday, he was crying and pretty sad. Long story short ... it didn't seem worth it to have him go back if it wasn't fun. After all, it was only a week. He's just 3 1/2. I took him on Tuesday morning, but he just "couldn't be brave enough to go in his class." I know both of the teachers that were in his class. However, I only talked to one of them about how Monday went. The other teacher's perspective was unveiled to me today. Boy, were they different! One thought that Sam was miserable and wasn't interested at all in being there. The other's perception was that he had fun and didn't get really sad until prodded by the other teacher.
It's interesting because Sam has never shown a lot of separation anxiety at all ... neither of our boys have, and we all get energy from being away from each other for bursts of time. As we tried to make a decision last week about whether to make Sam go or not, we just didn't have the full perspective. The first teacher's perception didn't match up with what I knew of Sam's character and personality, but that's all I had and I had to trust her input. After hearing another side of it today, it made more sense. Our style of parenting is more similar to that of the second teacher (I think), and so therefore she saw the situation more like I would have (I think). It was a good to be reminded ... what we bring to a situation determines how we're going to view it. It was also good to remember that teachers, caretakers etc. of my kids will have a different "take" on my kids that may not be entirely accurate. However, their perception is always worth consideration.
Wow...I'm starting to experience other people (mainly teachers of some sort) correct Elliya. My instinct is to go correct her myself before someone else has to (just out of my own guilt) but I just have to sit back and let her learn to obey another adult.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about perspectives being different. I've had students that do great in my class but would drive another teacher bonkers...not saying that Sam would drive his teachers bonkers...but it's all a matter of personality and perspective.
There's enough time to make him "stick it out" when he's older...you're right, he's only 3 and it is just a week.
It's funny, K, we totally have made them stick it out all the time and I was hesitant to not make him do it this time. But this teacher's (my friend) opinion was so strong that he was so homesick that it just didn't seem worth the hassle. Doug totally thought it shouldn't have been his choice and that's normally always our rule ... unfortunately we didn't get to come together on the decision so I had to make it. Had I known the other teacher's perspective, I would have acted differently. But, still knowing that the first teacher was there made me realize that Sam would manipulate the situation by crying or whatever just to get his way even if he didn't like it a litle bit. It's tough to leave a crying kid in a sanctuary when there's 10 3year old kids and 2 teachers ... especially when you have another crying kid (Zach) in your arms as you walk out of the building because he wants to stay. Next year they can both go ... no questions asked. :)
ReplyDeleteThis doesn't really have much to do with that but it reminded me of a time when I left Hope at a church daycare. I already knew she was nervous because some of the kids said she could not play with them.But, I dropped her off anyway and when I got back she was sitting in the same place. They said she didn't want to do anything and she never moved from that spot. When I went over to her she had a bloody nose and she said that when I left she sneezed and banged her nose on the table and she didn't want to get up and drip blood. It wasn't at my church now and it was just a mistake on their part, I've made many myself, but she was so little and it made me so sad to see her "in the world" where people don't always look out for others. It just broke my heart.
ReplyDeleteThere are always as many sides to a story as their are people in it. Trust your little guy. Even if he is taking you for a ride, he is family and sometimes it is very comforting for them to know you are on their side just because family comes first.
ReplyDeleteI don't really have a problem with toot or poot. I was just joking. I actually call it a toot too. But there is nothing wrong with fart.
ReplyDeletetry this for the poop song. Just copy and paiste this in your address bar...
ReplyDeletehttp://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=107152350
Let me know if it works. You might have to have a Myspace account to hear it.
Man, I am one weird friend trying to force you to say fart and now spreading the good news of the poop song.
let me know about the poop...
ReplyDeleteEven after raising kids for almost 30 years, I continue to be amazed at the differences in teaching styles and personalities. And sometimes the ones you THINK will click with a certain child doesn't. RE: Homesickeness: one of our boys, very outgoing, and happy to be with other kids became literally ill at Boy Scout camp and needed to come home early. You just never know what might trigger it, even in a child you think least likely to get homesick.
ReplyDeletemiss you
ReplyDeleteI've been hear so many times too. And it's so true girl! We do end up trusting whatever people say about our kids sometimes.
ReplyDeleteMichelle...I had forgotten about that story about Hope! It made me sad all over again picturing her tiny little self sitting there waiting for someone to help her. Aaaawwww!!!!!