Sweet good-nights

"Love is the glue that holds relationships together. And love is lived out in qualities like kindness, forgiveness, and patience. Think of someone you love, and ask the Lord to help you live out your love toward them today. Thank the Lord for all He is doing in their lives, and ask Him to help you slow down to be more present when you are with them, so they can tell how much you love them."

I read this in Be Still last night. Of course, as I read the above, I thought of Doug and our boys. Am I truly present in my conversations with each of them? Although today had its share of not-so-kind and pretty impatient mommy moments, I was graciously given the sweetest good-nights tonight from three of the most adorable boys I know and love dearly. I knew I had to write down all the details so I wouldn't forget this amazing stage of life. Here's how it went down.

I was still reading to Eli when Doug brought Sam and Zach into their room on his back after reading in our bed. We finished the book ... Eli roaming the room, Sam snuggled under his covers but still listening, and Zach captivated by the Winnie the Pooh adventure that Eli had picked. As the book ended, Eli walked with a book in hand over to the light switch. Cute enough to eat, he stood there with the book held high above his head with his pacifier firmly in his mouth. He is still not tall enough to mimic Zach's trick (that I taught him) to turn out the light using a hardcover book, so Zach did the honor. Zach found his way under his covers while Eli kept roaming around the room.

When I "sing and pray" at bedtime, I usually start with Sam since he's ready to go to sleep first. Together Sam and I sang Jesus Loves Me (his fav request) loudly just inches from each other's face. He was donning his "nightcap" (a very long mardi-gras colored santa-style cap) that he rediscovered at Mimie's house over spring break. Then, I prayed for him, thanking God for the ways that He's growing Sam and asking God to show Himself in a greater way as we anticipate the weekend. Then, of course, the big hugs and kisses and I-love-yous exchanged.

I duck my head into Zach's bed and we sing the Winnie the Pooh song, except he's singing it with different words and "Mama" is about every word of the song. His silliness still surprises me sometimes. I ask him about what he wants to pray about and he says, "Two things. Mimie and Clay. And Rob and Tina." Then he goes on to recite the names of all his closest friends in LR: Elle and Anna, Sam and Riley, Trinity and Jayden, Andrew, Ryan and Satvik. So, I ask him to start. He says, "I don't know how." We have had this conversation a multitude of times. I say, "You just start with 'God, and then you tell Him what you want to tell Him." He begins, "Dear Mama". I told you ... silly. But super sweet. I told him he can just talk to me, etc., and before long I was praying as he listened. I thanked God for all the people Zach loves, mentioned their names and then thanked Him for Zach being a good model for Eli and a sweet friend, etc. I love that the boys listen so carefully when I'm talking to God about them. About halfway through Zach's turn w/me, Eli obeyed my words and got into his bed. As much as Zach doesn't like to share me with anyone, Eli doesn't like to share me with Zach. Bedtime is one of those special one-on-one conversational times so I'm training Eli to understand that he can't intrude on Zach's time with me. Hugs, kisses, I-love-yous exchanged with Zach and he's snuggled in and ready to sleep.

As I reach Eli's bed, he's spread-eagle, face-up, waiting for me. I start singing his song, and he takes his paci out of his mouth and puckers his lips. Oh my. Such sweetness. I kiss him over and over again in the middle of the words of the song, as he takes turns between paci and puckering. I hear the muffled (through the paci) "HUG!", and we embrace over and over again as I thank God for how He is growing Eli big and strong and confident.

As I stand to leave the room and call out one more "Good night" and another "I love you, boys. Sleep good.", I am filled with awe of the beauty, blessing and privilege of being a mother to three boys. I want to capture and treasure this moment. They all adore me. I adore them. God smiles as he watches us clearly demonstrate our love to each other. One day, they will tower over me, but for today, I want to show them God's love in a way only I can. Through kindness. Forgiveness. Patience. Seriously? None of those things come naturally. Spirit, fill me.